When you think about the negative, you are bound to fail.....
You know… I hear about this often, and I always take it and say, “yes… yes… that’s so true… think about the good.” I take it and change my mindset and try to think positively. Most of the time I think about these in terms of my business. I CAN do this, I CAN succeed… I will not fail…. I am good enough to make this business work.”… but it’s funny how sometimes real life throws things at you and it takes a very personal moment to see how this isn’t just about business, but life in general as well.
Story time… about a year ago, I was having a really emotional day (that's normal for us ladies right?) Like full on tears… and I’m pretty sure it was hormonal because it just came and came and came and I wasn’t sure what it was from.
I was in the middle of a texting round with my family trying to figure out how to spend time with my dad on his birthday. It was a BIG round of texting and started to kind of stress me out.. but, whatev…. I was fine. Then my husband came in and started talking to me about what was happening and I broke down in tears… like legit tears. It wasn’t because of the texting, but a comment he made, that made me look at him and wonder how we could be so very different in how we think. He was being so passionate about something that I didn’t understand… and I realized in that moment that I didn’t understand my husband as well as I wanted to, and that I was going to FAIL him.
Yes.. fail him. I knew that what he was talking about meant so much to him that if I didn’t do this one thing when the time came, he would be utterly disappointed in me. It’s something that I wouldn’t even have thought of and it made me scared to think that I wouldn’t have thought twice… and then I would have failed him.
In crying and talking, I came to the realization that I WANT to please my husband and I WANT to do things for him, but I struggle with what to do because we are so different. The things that he likes are so different than the things that I like.. we look at life so completely different and the little things matter differently to each of us. In that moment… I had complete fear come over me… I WAS GOING TO FAIL HIM. I KNEW IT. THERE WAS NO WAY AROUND IT. I WAS GOING TO FAIL MY HUSBAND. I was going to make him think that I don’t care for his feelings, but I wouldn’t realize it because for me that little thing didn’t matter, but for him it was HUGE.
Can I just tell you how horrible this made me feel? I don’t like to fail… I dont like to disappoint people… when I disappoint people I just want to cry. I don’t mean to disappoint people… I really don’t… but I do… I do all the time…. and it sucks.
We talked this through more in our kitchen, and I continued to cry and tried to get out of my funk…. but I couldn’t. I couldn’t kick it. So, I did what I always do… and went away… and started working again.
A little later, Jamie came in and we talked more. He told me how much he loves me and how I won’t fail him.. and how much he knows that I really do TRY to do things for him in love. It helped… I cried again.
Then he said the words above… the words that I needed to hear… that I needed to remind myself of.
“WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE NEGATIVE, YOU ARE BOUND TO FAIL. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE POSITIVE, YOU ARE BOUND TO SUCCEED.”
It’s not just business, it’s life. It’s marriage. It’s motherhood. It’s friendships.
I need to stop allowing the fear of failure, even in my marriage, control my emotions. YES, I am going to fail. I am going to forget something really important that is going to make him sad…. but hopefully I won’t forget next time??? And if I do forget next time again (because I have a really bad memory)… then I am going to make it up to him again and again, and let him know how much I love him.
Don’t allow fear of failure and negative thinking ruin your day… your week.. your year… your life. Think positively and you will succeed… it will happen. Walk in the light… walk in the positive… and see how your life will change.. how your mindset will change.