When you look at yourself in the mirror what do you see?
Such a loaded question isn't it?
I’ve been thinking about this question a lot lately, because I think, especially as women, we struggle with this. We see ALL the flaws and immediately point out our negatives… yet it’s usually not what others around us see.
When I’m hanging out with friends or even just talking to a stranger, I’m always drawn to their amazing features… I think so many of my friends are gorgeous… but I know most of them, in looking in the mirror don’t see that in themselves. Just the other day I was talking to one of my friends, who I have thought was Stunningly Gorgeous my entire life. She was telling me how she can’t even look at herself in the mirror and just hates what she sees. I wanted to cry for her, because I understand…I sometimes do the same thing… but I also told her that I do not see her that way and I need to remember that others don’t see me that way either.
As women we are too hard on ourselves. We struggle with our identity and it wears on us. It’s exhausting and mind debilitating.
“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
- Fred Rogers
As moms I think it’s especially hard, because these little people have put havoc on our bodies. Things are not at all the same… things fall that shouldn’t fall, they jiggle where they shouldn’t jiggle, skin flaps and you aren’t sure if it will ever get back to where it should be. I get it… I’m there with you.
But you know what… we have to find a way to change our mindset. It’s not healthy.
Our husbands think we are beautiful… wether we think so or not, and they don’t like it when we always tell them that we are ugly. Our friends love us for who we are, they aren’t looking at our noses, our stomachs, and thinking, “she is horrible”. Our kids are looking at us and see our beauty… they see a mom that takes care of them and loves them… and when we put ourselves down in front of them, we teach them to do the same thing.
I think one of the biggest reasons we struggle with this, and can’t seem to get out of the funk, is that we don’t take time for ourselves. We are caring for everyone else around us aren’t taking time to better ourselves… in our personal development - how we think about ourselves, in our health - mental and physical.
I still struggle with my self image.. but I know that things have gotten so much better ever since I started taking time to work on ME. I get up every morning and spend time reading personal development, speaking words of affirmation over my life (reminders of who I really am, and not who my emotions think I am), working out. The changes in me have been huge. I still struggle with my identity, but when I am, I can usually fight the crazy voices inside and remember who I really am.
My “change” happened when I decided to take care of me. I joined an accountability group for my health, started working out daily, eating healthy, and worked on me. Having amazing people around me supporting me in this journey is key as well.
I know this isn’t easy.. I know looking into the mirror, when everything is sagging, is hard. I know it’s hard to let our husbands touch us because sometimes we just don’t feel pretty enough. But ladies… we have to find a way to fight these emotions that are holding us back from our full potential. Our kids need us to be whole, our husbands want their happy wives back, our friends and family want us to see ourselves as they see us.
My heart is to help women find themselves again. This is why I lead my challenge groups. It’s not just to get “in shape”, it’s to get healthy in our mind, body, and spirit, and to find freedom in who we are!!
Let's do this together... let's find ourselves again. Comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you'd like to join me in this journey.